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6 Month Reports
5th May 2003 - Visiting Daji at home with both his parents and his older sister - Yanmei, compiled by the Social Services Daji appears to be a sweet, charming and active boy with an operated cleft lip. He weighs 14.5 kilo and is approximately 98cm tall. His own doctor states that his health and development are fine. She has had some considerations as to whether Daji is older than the age on the papers, as he seems advanced for his age. Initially the applicants had the same considerations, but as time has gone by, they believe that his development matches the age on the official papers. Prior to the applicants collecting Daji in China, they had been informed that he had a cleft lip, which had been operated in July 2001. However it transpired, that Daji also had a big hole in his gum, and his front teeth are missing. The applicants have been in touch with the Danish Institute of Speech who have examined him. They have proposed that his gum will be operated when his new teeth are on their way (7-8 years old). During the operation, they take bone from his hip and insert it into his gum. His cleft lip has been sewn nicely together and is barely noticeable. One side of his nose is however fairly flat. Daji can complain about his top lip being tight. He also had clumps of skin growing next to each ear (the Chinese called them extra ears!), which happens occasionally, especially with Asian children. These have now been removed at Gentofte hospital. In China, Daji refused to eat anything green; but he now eats whatever is served - including fruit and vegetables. In the beginning he could not control how much he ate - he would continue eating as long as there was food on the table. This has somewhat normalised now, but he still has a very healthy appetite. He eats best in the morning and at lunch. At dinner he can often be so tired, that he barely eats anything. According to the Director for Daji's orphanage, he was already toilet trained when he was handed over to the applicants. However later the same day, it became clear that this was not the case and it was necessary for him to wear a nappy. Now after 6 months, he doesn't need a nappy during the day, as long as he is often reminded to visit the toilet. He wears a nappy in bed, and the nappy is always wet in the morning. It has never been difficult to put Daji to bed, and he always falls asleep very quickly. However he did not sleep well during the first two months with the applicants. He woke up after a few hours and would wake more and more often during the night. Often he would scream hysterically and wake everybody else. There was no apparent reason for this, and he showed no signs of it having anything to do with nightmares. The applicants tried to solve this problem in different ways: letting him sleep with them; lying him on a mattress next to them, sleeping in his room with him etc.; but nothing helped and things got worse and worse. Just before Christmas, Daji often woke 10 or more times per night. After one and a half months, the applicants decided that they would not go to him immediately and let him scream for a little bit longer period each time before going into his room to lie him down again (similar to the Feber method). After 3 days, Daji stopped waking up and from that point onwards has slept through the night, waking up rested and happy. He sleeps from ca. 20:00 until 6:30 the following morning and is up and alert the second somebody else gets up. He goes to bed at the same time as his older sister. He falls asleep almost immediately, while Yanmei is read a goodnight story and hears a tape until she falls asleep at around 21:00. Daji and Yanmei both sleep in their own room, next to each other and with an open door to the hall and close to the applicants bedroom. Daji's motor skills are advanced and he is very athletic. He runs, cycles on tricycles, bicycles with supporting wheels, drives moon cars, goes up and down stairs etc. He can walk for long distances and walks as quickly as adults. Whilst he is physically very active, he can also sit still and concentrate on different activities, e.g. playing with his toy cars. He isn't a very good self-starter - initiating his own games etc.; but needs to be told to play with things - e.g. Duplo. He likes playing outside, and loved playing in the snow during winter. The applicants aren't very sure how much Chinese Daji spoke whilst he was in China, but the referral papers stated that he spoke Chinese. People from Beijing didn't understand him, probably because he spoke with a different dialect. Daji understands most things that are said to him, but not complicated sentences. He says a lot, also sentences, but most of what he says, is not understandable. He has great difficulty pronouncing certain sounds - e.g. 's' and 'f'. Sometimes he is frustrated when others can't understand him. The applicants aren't sure whether his speech problems are due to his cleft lip and gum. Daji has just started in kindergarten and the applicants will evaluate whether he needs speech therapy after he has been there a few months. Daji has just started in the same kindergarten as Yanmei. It is a part-time kindergarten, which is open from 8:00 until 14:00. He knows the children and adults, as he has often been to collect Yanmei. He has just started two days ago, and he has already settled in well and enjoys himself. In China, and the during the first week in Denmark, Daji was only attached to his father. Now he is equally attached to both applicants. The applicants feel that he already feels part of the family and knows that he belongs with them. Apart from the applicants and his older brother and sister, he is also attached to the other members of the wider-family. He is very open towards people who visit his home, but not towards people that he meets on the street or in shops etc. Initially, Daji had an hysterical laughter, which the applicants believe was due to the fact that he was scared and unsure what was happening. Sometimes the laughter turned to tears. The laughter became less dominant as Daji became more and more settled in his new home. Daji was not relaxed when in close physical contact with the applicants. This is getting better, but his apprehension has not completely disappeared yet. In the beginning Daji didn't react to pain, e.g. if he fell and clearly hurt himself. Today he will cry if he hurts himself, but will not always seek comfort. The applicants experience Daji as a happy child. He understands and learns new things quickly and doesn't give up easily. He is very temperamental - he can become very angry if he doesn't get his own way or things don't work out as he had expected. He is very loud and voluminous - both when speaking and playing. The male applicant will start work again during May, following half a years paternity leave. The female applicant will take the remaining maternity leave, but has been home most of the time since Daji came to Denmark. It was good that both were home with Daji, as he has been quiet a challenge. Daji has had a difficult time adapting to the major change in his life, but is beginning to settle in and become comfortable with his new life and home. He seems to correspond to his age, although his language lags behind - possibly due the cleft lip and gum. The applicants are happy with Daji. They felt that it was a major challenge in the beginning, but now the initial problems are over, he is developing quickly and becomes increasingly comfortable and happy in his new home. They are very interested to see how he adapts to life in the kindergarten and how his language develops during the next six months. Things we remember: Daji loves to talk and sing. He knows the tunes of some normal songs, but not the words. Daji loved the snow and never wanted to come in if he'd been out sledging or playing in the snow. During the spring he learnt to cycle, with supporting wheels - we believe he could cycle without the support wheels, but we have better control over him with them on. He loves driving in the car, even long journeys. He also has a good sense of humour, although he cried hysterically when Yanmei and Steven joked that they would leave Lene behind and drive away. Daji is good at counting - he can count to 7. He seems to be a natural technician, and loves to touch everything and see how it works. Even if you don't show him, he usually works out how to turn things on and off. If you tell him not to touch, say the oven, and he was about to touch it with his left hand, he assumes it's OK to touch it with his right hand. When he's understood that he can't touch our oven, he assumes that it is still OK to touch the oven at other places we visit. He knows exactly how Lene's mothers wheelchair works - how to take the footrests off, how to set the brake, move the armrests etc.
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