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3 month report
Daji has now been in Denmark for 3 months and experienced his first Danish Christmas and New Year. Daji is becoming more and more settled in his new environment and functions well in with his new family - not least with his "big" sister, to whom he really looks up and imitates. Daji is approximately 3 years and 3 months old, and he has grown two centimetres and put on about a kilo in weight. He does not look as long and thin as when we received him. Daji has visited out local doctor and she found everything to be OK. We have also visited a specialist regarding Daji's cleft lip and a plan will be made for Daji so that his gum can be repaired. This plan will be made when he is about 5 years old. We have also visited the hospital regarding his extra ears, and these will be removed during spring. Daji has not suffered any illness whilst in Denmark, and his runny nose has also stopped. He seems to be a healthy boy. A number of people have commented about Daji's age, i.e. he could be older than three years old. Based on Daji's motor functions we feel that this could be the case, however during this period Daji began to act more like a child of his own age. The high level of independence that was evident in the early stages, is still evident, but not as much as earlier. This could have been part of his coping mechanism, inherited from the Institute, and given an impression of him being older than he actually was. Daji's language is developing, but slower than we expected. He understands a lot of what is said too him, also things not said directly to him - e.g. things said in a crowd, on TV, radio etc. He speaks a lot, in fact he shouts more than he speaks. He has also begun to say short sentences. He says a few things more or less clearly (Daji does, Have peed, clothes on ...), and we have begun to understand a few things that he says, but are not pronounced correctly. We think that Daji thinks that he is saying them correctly. We have arranged to visit a speech therapist after summer. Daji has a very bright and happy disposition, he smiles a lot, laughs easily and his eyes are lively and happy. He has a good sense of humour, wants to help, is very curios, and still independent. He is also very strong willed and does not easily take no for an answer. It has been necessary to set very strict boundaries for him. Initially this often caused hysterical outbursts, that could last for up to 30 minutes if one didn't stop him. However during the last month we have not experienced such outbursts, and whilst Daji can often moan when he doesn't get his own way, he accepts the decision. Daji was initially only attached to Steven, however he is now equally attached to both parents, and is also happy for both Thomas and Yanmei. We have not witnessed any attachment problems. Daji plays with toys - especially playmobile and wooden puzzles and watches TV; enjoying both action and non-action cartoons on TV. Best of all he likes playing with his big sister. Daji loves going for walks and rides on a bus or in the car. He was initially upset when Yanmei went to Kindergarten and was totally over-geared when she came home (which is still the case, but to a lesser extent). Daji is very very active - he has difficulty sitting still (except when eating) and needs to get out and use his excess energy. When going for a walk he walks/runs at the same speed as the adults, and is in constant motion. He loves being out in the snow. He also sings and listens to music. Daji loves food and eats everything that is served. It is important that we ration his food, although recently he has shown some signs that he can be full up - eating slowly, not asking for a second portion, not eating dessert! He is not potty trained as yet. We don't use a nappy whilst he is at home during the day, and generally he stays dry. He uses a nappy during the night. Daji sleeps immediately upon being put to bed - usually at around 20:00, in his own bed in his own room. He doesn't complain about going to bed, and falls asleep as soon as his light is turned off. Initially Daji woke many times during the night. The situation got worse when Steven started sleeping in his room, with Daji waking up to 10 times per night - and for no apparent reason. This led to a negative spiral in our relationship with Daji, as everybody was tired. In the middle of December, we decided that we would no longer react when Daji woke during the night - leaving him in his room. We waited longer and longer before reacting when he called, despite him often being very upset that we didn't come in to his room. This approach had the desired effect, Daji began to sleep through the night within a week. He almost never wakes up during the night any more - sleeping from 20:00 through until 7:00 next morning. Daji remains very strong willed which at times still leads to conflicts as Daji tries out the boundaries that apply in our home. However this is becoming less and less frequent. He still laughs at things and times where laughing isn't appropriate - e.g. when we take his clothes off to wash him - but for now we feel that this is his coping mechanism, and is also far, far less frequent and less loud than earlier. After a difficult start, we feel that it is going well with Daji. His character is very different than both Thomas and Yanmei - overly independent, very strong willed, very loud and very active. However he is reacting well to his new environment and challenges and further developing day for day. Things we remember: Daji can hum Mister Jacob, Jingle Bells and Will You (Danish children's song) When we drive home and he sees that we reach our street he starts shouting and pointing the other way He likes visiting Grandma and Granddad and has started going to church with Lene and Yanmei
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